Dear Vegeta
by Silent Hanyou
Summary: Vegeta dies of natural causes, leaving Bulma to deal with her grief and raising their two children. See how she reacts through her thoughts and actions. Please read and review! I need the feedback! This is a repost from an old account.
1. One Wish

Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z, nor do I own any of its characters. All characters are owned by Akira Toriyama. There, now I won't get sued….

NOTE: This is a repost from an old account. I lost all the data on my old account and wanted to put this back up. I will be finishing this story finally and I will probably be rewriting bits, so if you've read it before, might be a little different. Oh and I know my grammar tenses don't always match. I'm trying to show that she's insane, thanks much.

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**Chapter One  
One Wish**

Something was wrong. I knew it the second I stepped into the night air. The moon was reaching its zenith and the ground was sparkling with frost, but something, something, was wrong. Terribly wrong. I felt it with every fiber of my being. I knew something had happened to him. My one joy. My one treasure. Something, something had happened to my husband.

I walked slowly across the ground. You were there… in front of me. You looked so peaceful. Like you had fallen into an enchanted sleep. Your black hair, stubborn as you, stubborn as always, stood on end, as you lay there motionless, pale as the silk cushions lining the box. Now I'm beside you. My hand is linked with yours.

The priest is saying something; I don't hear him. Our son. I see him. He stands beside my mother and father. He is sad, but I don't understand why. He's holding back tears. Why? Why does he grieve? My mother puts a hand on his shoulder and his tears flow. Now the baby cries as my mother holds her. Our daughter. She is but an infant…

Our friends… they are here to, you know. They are here, why do you not greet them? The tall one is here, to fight, I know it. That's all you two ever did. Went into the backyard to spar. Do you not wish to fight today? Are you ill? His wife is here as well. She keeps giving me looks of sympathy, but I can't remember why everyone is so upset. For you, my dear prince, are only sleeping. When you awake perhaps you will tell me of your dream. Perhaps you will show them all that you are not ill. You will show them that you are fine. You will show them and we will be happy to have you home. We will throw a big party just because we can.

Yes, that's what we will do.

But, tell me, my dear, why are you so cold? Your hand is ice… And why is it that you do not answer me? Are you angry with me? Have I wronged you? Have I said something to hurt you? Or is it that you do not hear me? Have you slipped into a sleep that only true love's kiss can awaken you?

I smile and lean to kiss your finely chiseled mouth, but why do you not stir? Oh, sweet prince, why do you not breathe?

Now I remember. The trip to the hospital. The morgue. They had pulled the cover back and there you lay. I had not cried. I had only stood there blinking as my mother spoke with the doctor. Only stood there wondering why you did not look at me. Why you did not turn and smile like you do when no one is looking. I hear them talking about aneurisms and painless, but I don't understand any of it.

Men are closing the lid. They usher me away, but I'm not ready! I scream for them to leave us alone, but they won't go away. They won't leave me be. They close the lid to the box where you lie. Can you breathe in there, my love? I can't see you anymore… where are you? Why have you left me all alone?

The tall man, the one you fight with, is taking me away from you… I'm trying to stop him, but he is too strong. He holds my arms firmly. The woman, his wife, she is murmuring to me, trying to calm me, but I'm crying. They were my friends , how could they do this to me? How could they separate us like this?

The priest makes a cross with his hand and closes his big book. The box is lowering. Where are you going? Why are they putting you in that hole? They say a few more final words, our son and daughter are dropping flowers in the hole after you. People are leaving. They are leaving Vegeta! Come out and see them off! But you don't come out. They leave. Goku, the tall man, he is trying to lead me away, but I won't allow it. Men in jumpsuits begin pouring dirt over your box. I try to stop them, but they don't listen.

"Stop," I say, but they ignore me. "He won't be able to get out!" I scream, but still they bury the box that holds you.

Tears are stinging my cheeks now. It's cold. My heart freezes with the ground. Snow begins to fall. I don't know how long it took, but Goku held me. He wouldn't let me save you, and I wouldn't let him make me leave. So, we stood there. We stood there until the men finished filling the hole. Until they left. Then I sobbed louder than I ever had in my life. I ran to the mound where you had once been. I tore at the dirt, clawed and clawed, dug and scraped, but my fingers were cold and aching. Goku and Chichi and Goten and Gohan. They stood there. They stood there watching me beside my father and my mother and Trunks. They all stood there! They didn't help! They wouldn't help!

And so I sat there. Sat there on the cold ground beside you, with you, crying and rocking myself back and forth. I sang that song Vegeta… You remember the one from our wedding. The one that you had played for me countless times on countless anniversaries… How did it go? I hum it softly, the words echoing through my mind:

How will I start,

Tomorrow without you here?

Who's heart will guide me,

When all the answers disappear?

Is it too late,

Are you to far gone to stay?

Is this forever?

You should never have to go away.

What will I do?

You know I'm only half without you.

How will I make it through?

If only tears could bring you back to me,

If only love could find a way…

What I would do,

What I would give if you,

Return to me,

S, someday, somehow, someway…

If my tears could bring you back,

To me…

I-I'd cry you an…

But that's all I can sing. That's all I can manage. My throat seals itself off and then more tears come. They flow freely; I can't stop them, and I don't want to. A hand settles on my shoulder. Yamcha. There is pity on his face and I know that he believes you are dead. They all do. All of them believe you are nothing. Nothing but a corpse, an empty, lifeless shell, but I know better… I know you are still with me. They are all traitors! All of them… Mom, Dad, Trunks… all of them…

I am being carried away. I am wrapped in Chichi's shawl and Goku is carrying me. He is carrying me in his big strong arms, is carrying me to the house, away from you. I am sorry. I whisper to you. I know I should have fought him, told him to leave us alone, but I can't find my voice. I can't find my energy, I can't find my heart… I can't find you…

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Two weeks have passed, but I still haven't awaken from this horrible nightmare. Everyone still believes you are dead. I tell them you are fine, but they don't believe me! I am trying, Vegeta, trying, tried so many times to convince, they won't listen! I thought maybe they would help me free you from that prison, but no one would listen. They wouldn't listen… They just stood there nodding sympathetically… stood there and frowned. Trunks had nearly burst into tears when I told him, I still don't know why…

I woke up this morning and tried to find you, but you weren't in bed. I heard the shower going and got up to see if you were in it, but when I got to the bathroom, the water had not been running. I went down stairs, thinking maybe you were eating breakfast, but you weren't there. Where is Vegeta? I asked and everyone stared at me. I went to the gravity chamber, but you weren't there either.

I was walking back to the house and I thought I saw you. Saw you standing there, waiting for me, smiling your little smile, just waiting for me… I ran to hug you, to tell you what everyone had said, but when I threw my arms around you, you weren't there. My arms went right through you…

That was when I had realized. When I had remembered. You were gone. You were really truly gone… And you had left me here alone… So alone, Vegeta, so terribly alone. Why?

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I step into the night air. I walk over to your resting place. To where you sleep. My cloak is wrapped tightly around me, protecting me against the night air. Protecting me from the harsh winter. A year you have been gone. A year this night and I am crying.

I lay flowers on your grave. The same kind you had been buying when you died, my favorite, red roses. I remember that day. I had been sad because you hadn't been home on time for our anniversary. I had been mad. But then I had been worried. I thought maybe you didn't love me. Maybe this was your way of telling me so. Then the phone call had come.

We went to the hospital, I saw your body, but I didn't accept it. You couldn't be dead. Not my precious prince… it just wasn't true. They had said the woman who had called the police had been selling you these flowers. She said that you had told her they were for someone very special, your wife. The doctor had given me the flowers… I still have them. They are dead now… dead--. Dead like you. They sit in my room, our room, above my bed, our bed. Sitting there, undisturbed. I still have the card you wrote, the one with the line that the pen had created as you fell. As you died. It read:

To my beautiful wife,

I love you.

Vege---

But then there is no more. Just a line that carries across the page when you had fallen, when you had died… Tell me, Vegeta… Did it hurt? Did you feel pain when you died? Had you suffered at all? Or had you died happy? Had you died the way you had felt? Had you died celebrating our anniversary? That's what the doctors had said… They said it had been painless… But I don't know… don't know if I believe them.

I pull out the knife. I had gotten it from the kitchen, I had had to pick the lock my mother has put on all places where sharp objects are held. She knew I would do this. She knew that I would want to join you in that place, join you where you rest… But she didn't know I could pick locks. She didn't know that I would even attempt it.

"I am coming to you, Vegeta," I whisper. The knife drags across my skin. The wound bleeds almost instantly. I drag it from my wrist vertically down to the middle of my forearm. The skin rolls back along the slit as it bleeds horribly. The pain is terrible, but I am smiling. Soon, I say, Soon, I will be with you. Soon we can be happy.

"Bulma?" a voice calls. I turn around as Goku turns on the lights to the backyard. He is at my side in an instant. I try to move away, but he grabs my arm. His eyes are wide as he looks at the cut and the knife in arm, "What have you done?"

But I don't answer him. I just smile. Just smile as I fall backwards in the snow on your grave, unconsciousness taking me over.

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I awoke in the hospital a week later. My head is numb and I know what must have happened. Goku. He interfered. He stopped the bleeding, stopped my death. He must have taken me to the hospital. Gotten me a doctor, gotten me help. My arm, it's stitched up. IV's are in my wrist and the heart monitor is beating steadily.

Trunks and Bra are lying in bed with me, asleep beside me. Goku is in the hall with Chichi and my parents. They are speaking to the doctor. They are speaking to him about me. I know they think I am insane… they are probably right… but I don't care. I don't want to live this life anymore. Not without you.

Goku looks through the window and sees me, sees me staring at him. He looks worried, concerned. He has been my friend for a long time and I know that he doesn't want to see me hurt, but I can't help it. I know they would all miss me, but I don't want to be here. Don't want to be without my prince…

"Good morning, Bulma." my mother says as she and the others come in. I look away. I didn't want to face those blue eyes that mirror my own, but they do not carry the same sadness of mine. They carry love and concern. But I don't care. If they all loved me so much then they'd let me go with you. They wouldn't hold me to this cold, cruel existence. Wouldn't force me to eat, to sleep, and to carry on.

"How are we this morning, Bulma?" Chichi asks quietly.

I look at her and shoot an angry glance at Goku, "I don't know, how the hell do I look?"

They are quiet a moment. Then the doctor says that I can leave in a couple days and until then, if they so choose, someone can stay the nights here with me.

"I don't want anyone here," I snap as Goku tries to volunteer, "All I want is my husband."

Now Chichi is mad. I can see it in her face. She is livid with me, but what do I care? She begins screaming, "Wake up, Bulma! Vegeta is dead! He is gone! He can't come back and he isn't going to come back!"

We stare at each other, and my glare must have been more deadly than hers because she instantly backed away mumbling apologies.

"Bulma," Goku says softly. He walks towards the bed and I turn away from him. He places a hand on my arm, "I know this must be hard for you, but you have to get over this. Chichi is right. Vegeta is gone, and there is nothing we can do about it."

"You stay away from me," I hiss vehemently, "All of you. I don't want to hear from any of you ever again! I hate you!"

Of course, by now both of the children were awake. Bra looking around not understanding and Trunks looking at me with hurt eyes. But I can't look at him. He looks too much like you, Vegeta… Too much like my prince.

Everyone is silent and even the doctor looks as though he is speechless. He ushers everyone out of the room except my mother and father.

"Bulma?"

"Humph."

"Are you sure?" my mother asks sadly, "Are you sure that's what you want?"

I know that it isn't and I shake my head, "I love you all very much, but right now, I just don't care. It isn't your fault, but I just can't bring myself to care about anything else."

My mother nods and leaves the room. She stands outside my room and cries. Chichi hugs her.

"I thought this might happen," my father said pulling a small box out of his large lab coat pocket, "Here."

I take the box and unwrap the blue wrapping paper. Inside is a box, which I open to find a picture frame. It's a picture of you. A tear slides down my cheek as I hug the frame to my heart and close my eyes. My father did this. He gave me back my prince.

"Thank you, daddy," I whisper and he knows that is the best he will get out of me. He kisses me on the forehead and leaves.

I look at the picture. You are smiling at me. Smiling with those dark eyes full of mystery and intrigue. I loved it when you smiled. Vegeta, although you rarely did so, you smiled with your whole face. Smiled with your heart shining through your eyes. Smiled until you melted my heart.

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When I got back home, I went straight out to your grave in the backyard. The knife was still there as well as the blood in the snow. Goku stood beside me, shifting awkwardly as I placed a new flower on the tombstone. He and Chichi had moved in with Gohan and Goten temporarily. Videl had even agreed to stay. Everyone was worried about me; even Piccolo had come to check on me. They all act like I'm a fragile doll, Vegeta. They think I will break at any moment…

I stare at your grave for a long time, you know. I even look out at it from my window for the times my 'jailors' decide I'm not aloud out. Father's taken over the company again until I'm back to my old self, but its no use… I'll never be back to my old self… You are my old self. If a person's heart is cut out of them, do they not die? Then how is it that they expect me to carry on? You are my heart, Vegeta. You. No one else has ever had it and no one will ever have it again. When they buried you, they buried it as well. My heart was stolen from me that day, Vegeta… It was ripped from my chest and now I'm dying, slowly rotting away… slowly disappearing from their grasp…

I know I should try to hold on for Trunks's and Bra's sake, but I can't find the courage to. I can't find it in me, can't find any reason to find it. I know I said that I should try, but that doesn't mean I can, or that I will…

Damn it, Vegeta! Why? Why did you leave me here like this? Why? It's been a year now… but I still don't understand it. I still wake up and wonder why you aren't beside me, wondering why you aren't eating breakfast with me, wondering where you are. But then I remember. You are still beneath the earth, still in your box.

Goku touches my arm softly and I know that he wants me to go inside. I look up at him and he nods. I allow him to put an arm over my shoulder and lead me away, for I know that I will be back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, for as long as I live, and I pray softly to Kami that won't be long…

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I'm sitting on your tombstone, Vegeta. Inside the house a party is taking place, my party, but I'm not celebrating. They still act like I can't take care of myself, like I will fall into pieces, shatter at any given moment…

It's my birthday, Vegeta. My birthday, the day I can wish for anything I want…anything. Memories are flashing through my brain…memories of past birthdays…My first birthday as your wife…this is my first celebrated birthday as a widow. Last year…I had not celebrated last year…I hadn't had the heart to celebrate…but now…

I look up at the stars and watch the twinkling lights. A shooting stars streaks across the sky.

"Make a wish…" a voice whispers in my head, but, why? It won't come true. I only have one wish. One wish.

I close my eyes tightly and whisper my wish to the night, to the stars, to you. The star disappears and still I sit wish… I wish with all I have in me. What's left of my heart and soul. Someone calls my name from the back door, but I do not open my eyes.

"One wish," I whisper, "That's all I have, all I want… One wish."

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	2. One Hope

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, yada yada yada.

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**Chapter Two  
One Hope  
By Silent Hanyou**

**Vegeta's POV**

I awoke slowly on the ground in the backyard. I stretched and stared at the stars above me. The sky was lightening and the first streaks of sunlight poured onto the ground. I lay there a moment trying to gather my thoughts and I realize-

"Damn! I forgot to give Bulma her anniversary present!"

I check the watch that Bulma had given to me for our anniversary last year for being late to every other one, but its not there. My wrist is bare.

"I must've dropped it at the flower shop…Ugh! Bulma's going to kill me!" I smirk, "She should still be in bed…I should probably surprise her." Having made up my mind, I got up and moved toward the house, but something felt different. And my gravity chamber was no where to be seen.

'She must have been really angry with me last night…' I thought, 'That must be why I'm lying on the ground outside…I can't believe she kicked me out…'

That was when something caught my eye. It was a sleeping figure. My first thought was a dog or one of my father-in-law's animal's curled up, but as I moved closer I realized that it was Bulma. She was lying in front of a large stone tablet.

"Bulma-" I began, but someone put a hand over my mouth. I turned to see Baba, "What are you doing here?"

"Shhh…"she gestured to the sycamore tree not far behind us and I followed her there.

"Why is the woman sleeping on the ground?" I asked not wanting the old hag to know how much she really means to me. Love is a sign of weakness, one that I'm not willing to reveal.

"She's…in mourning."

"For what? Did someone die?"

Baba nodded solemnly, "You did."

I nearly burst out laughing. What was this wench up to?

"Cut it out, hag. Why are you really here?" I asked waving a casual hand in dismissal of her previous statement. But Baba's face didn't change. An ominous shiver passed through my spine at her serious glare.

"I do not jest with you, Vegeta." she snapped, "You have been dead for a little over a year now. Bulma has been out here at your grave every night hence."

"If I'm dead why am I here?" I asked disdainfully, "Why don't I remember being in Other World? Why don't I remember dying? Can you answer these questions, hag?"

"If you refrain from using such a disdainful tone and cease in calling me hag, yes." she snapped angrily, "You don't remember dying and your time spent in Other World because these memories were erased from you."

"Why-?"

"That I'll explain later." she waved his question away impatiently, "As to why you're here…let's just say I a request heard a request and decided that this one deserved to be granted."

"The dragon balls?" I asked playing along with her game.

"No." Baba shook her head slowly, "You died of natural causes. The dragon balls cannot resurrect someone who dies of natural causes."

"Then what was-" Again I was cut off.

"Bulma." Baba said simply. She was really beginning to annoy me, "She made a wish last night on a star, a shooting star. I had been coming to check on her as I have since she tried to commit suicide…"

Now it was my turn to interrupt, "Suicide!"

"Yes, Vegeta." she said a frown deepening the wrinkles of her ancient face, "And ever since Goku and I have paid regular visits to your old home. His known, mine not. I usually sit in this very tree and watch her. She sits on the ground beside your grave or on the tombstone and cries until she runs out of tears. I remember the night they put you in the ground…" she shudders at the memory, "She tried to dig you back up with her bare hands…"

"Why are you saying these things?" I demanded my patience breaking, "Is this how you get your jollies? Make up these horrendous tales to frighten and confuse? Well, news flash, I'm not buying it."

I turn and walk toward Bulma, all regret for missing our anniversary fleeing my mind. She must have been in on it. Of course she was! Why else would she be lying on the cold ground in front of a…a tombstone?

I stopped and stared. Not just any tombstone, MY tombstone. Baba came up behind me.

"You see, Vegeta?"

I shook off the feeling of anguish rising in my throat, "See what, hag? That you are a crafty witch?" I laughed, "The tombstone was a nice touch, but I'm through with this joke."

"You try my patience, Vegeta. If not for me you would not be standing here."

Bulma stirred as I watched her sleep. I picked her up and held her shivering body.

"Vegeta…" she whispered softly, her voice full of pain. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I cradled her closer.

"Foolish woman…" I muttered. I turned to Baba, "Good night to you, hag. I'm going to take my wife in the house before she catches the death of cold."

"Vegeta, there is something you must know…" Baba said. I turned to face her, "This life I have given you…its only temporary…"

"Good night, Baba."

**Bulma's POV**

I awoke slowly the morning after the wish. I expected to wake up cold and stiff in the backyard, but instead I found myself in my bedroom. I sat up and stretched. It wasn't until I got out of bed that I noticed the figure sitting in the rocking chair in the far corner.

I couldn't see who it was since I always left the shades drawn and no light entered the room. My first thought was Goku.

"Goku, I'm not in the mood for a lecture today…I know that I should be worrying about Trunks and Bra's welfare, but I…I just can't focus on anything right now. Not without…not without Vegeta…"

"What are you going on about, woman?" the figure asked gruffly.

I felt my eyes grow wide. I swung my gaze to the figure, "You…You're not Goku?"

"Not that I'm aware of." he replied with a snort. He cocked his head to the side and laughed softly, "Were you hit on the head or something? Don't you even recognize your own husband?"

Tears sprung instantly to my eyes. I stood paralyzed, unwilling to believe but hoping all the same.

Then he moved. Crossing the room with quick measured steps, the figure through the windows open. I blinked in the light, seeing as it had been months since last I had seen the light of midday.

When my eyes adjusted the tears that had threatened to spill did not bluff. They fell instantly as I stared at my husband, "V…Vegeta?"

He smirked that perfect way I remembered, "Well, who else would it be?"

"But, you…you're dead." I said, my mind not excepting what my eyes were seeing.

"You too, huh?" he shook his head, "Baba said the same thing last night. You know, that joke is getting old."

"Vegeta…are you…are you real?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I'm real. Why are you crying woman?"

"Oh, Vegeta!" I ran to him and cried into his shoulder. He held onto to me, reluctantly at first, but he couldn't but comfort me. He had always hated to see me cry, "Vegeta! I've missed you so much! I tried to forget, I tried to move on, but I couldn't do it! I couldn't forget you…!"

"What are you talking about woman? Is this some kind of trick you and Baba are playing to get back at me? I realize I was late coming home for our anniversary yesterday, but I've always been late for them. I have better things to think about then remember something so trivial as our marriage."

Normally I would have been offended, but I was too drunk off the smell of him, the feel of him, the sound of him… He grabbed my hands and I felt him grow rigid in stance.

"Bulma? What happened to your wrists?"

I pulled away. He already believed me a pathetic weakling, he didn't need to know about my attempted suicide…, "Nothing," I lied.

"That isn't 'nothing,' woman!" he waved his hand at my wrists, "You tried to commit suicide? When?"

"About three months ago." I whispered, looking at the floor, "A year after your death…"

"My…death?" Vegeta went onto the balcony and sank into one of the chairs, "So then Baba told the truth…I really did die…Of natural causes?"

I nod slowly, "An aneurysm…The doctors say it was painless…You…You don't remember?"

He head shook as he stared into the distance. The sun was high in the sky. A breeze was blowing softly through the trees and I could see cars driving past on the busy streets of West City below.

"Do you think Baba could explain some of this?" Vegeta asked silently. I knew that he was having a hard time grasping the fact that he had died again. After Majin Buu he wasn't supposed to have been able to come back if he died again.

I shrugged, "Maybe…"

He simply nodded and closed his eyes. The little witch appeared almost immediately.

"I knew you'd call, Vegeta. That's why I was waiting nearby." Baba said knowingly. She looked to me, "How are you feeling, child?"

"Confused…" I muttered, my gaze never leaving my husband. Is this all a dream?

"I can understand your confusion, but this is no dream. Last night you made a specific wish on a shooting star…remember?"

I nodded, "Yes."

"Well," the tiny woman continued, "I had been watching you last night when you made that wish and I thought that after all you've been through these past year that you deserved and needed this favor." she gestured to Vegeta, "So I gave you what you wished."

I opened my mouth and shut it again. Everyone was silent a moment. Finally Vegeta asked the question that had been bouncing around in my mind.

"How?"

"Well, that big oaf, Yemma always takes a break about midnight in Other World. Its kinda like his lunch break. While he was gone, I snuck into his files and stole the page with Vegeta's name on it. He had to be brought down from heaven before I could bring him to Earth, which was easy." Baba explained.

"Then…Why don't I remember anything?" Vegeta asked raising his gaze skyward.

"That's a simple answer. Natural causes don't remember anything about Other World if returned to the living realm. It causes too much trouble." Baba sighed, "As Yemma puts it, too much paperwork."

I nodded as the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. When my mind finally registered the gift she had given to me and Vegeta I opened my mouth to thank her, but she raised a hand.

"As I have already told Vegeta last night, this is not a permanent arrangement. Yemma will eventually find out what happened if not right away." she said with a frown, "Every three months he checks his 'inventory' so to speak to see if any mistakes were made."

"So then he has to leave again in three months?" my heart sunk at the thought.

Baba shook her head and raised her hand. She rose her index finger, "One."

My head reeled and my stomach flipped. One month! To have him back for such a short time was going to be torture…I nodded and felt the tears begin to come back. They stung my eyes mercilessly. I looked to the floor then back to Baba, "What will happen after the month?"

Baba looked at me sympathetically. She floated over to me on her crystal ball and took my hands, "When the month is over…Vegeta will die."

**Vegeta's POV**

I felt numb. Like everything that was happening around me wasn't real, like I was dreaming. I looked to where Bulma stood. I could instantly tell that she wasn't taking to well to the news either. Only one month and time was already ticking…

Baba said her goodbyes and disappeared. I watched my wife for and moment and I realized that I didn't know the woman before me. She couldn't have been stranger to me than if this was my first time on Earth. I stood and went to her.

"Bulma?" I said quietly in her ear. She jumped as if she had forgotten I had been there.

"Now what do we do?" she asked me wiping the tears from her eyes and stepping away. She looked at me warily, "Would you like to see Trunks and Bra?"

I hesitated, "Why are you afraid of me?"

She looked taken aback but she did not deny it, "Be…Because you've been gone so long…" she paused shaking her head, "I've missed you so much and now you're here before me…I can't…"

That was when there was a knock at the door. My mother-in-law called softly through the door, "Bulma, dear? Would you like to eat some breakfast?"

"Mom…Can you come in please?" Bulma replied looking away from me.

The elder woman entered the room cautiously as if this were strange behavior from her daughter, "What is it, de…" her gaze fell on me, "Vegeta?"

I simply nodded at her.

"What…I mean…how?"

"Mom, will you please take Trunks and Bra to the first floor gardens? Tell them I will be down shortly." Bulma said without emotion.

"Shouldn't you…?"

"I'm bringing their father to meet with them."

I watched my mother-in-law's eyes water with tears. She bobbed her head. I could read the confusion clearly on her face, but she turned and stalked down the hall.

**Bulma's POV**

The reunion with Vegeta and our children is one I'm never going to forget. It was filled with tears and hugs and confused questions. Trunks and Bra played with their father and he laughed and played back. I sat at the picnic tables where my father and mother sometimes laid out lunch. The laughter that echoed through the chamber reminded me of better days that I never though I would have experienced again.

Trunks and Bra tackled the saiyan prince who allowed them to knock him over laughing wholeheartedly. Bra, barely over three years, picked up a stick and poked Vegeta in the side, as if playing with a sword. Vegeta groaned and rolled over feigning death. He stopped breathing and my breath caught. Trunks, thinking much like myself worried that this was all some dream, walked slowly towards his father's still form and stared uneasily.

Suddenly, Vegeta's arm shot out from under him and grabbed his son's leg dragging him to the ground. I let out a sigh and sank back down smiling lightly. Oh, how long it had been since last I had smiled…And watching my children smiling and laughing with their father I felt the stone walls I had built around my heart slowly being taken apart.

**Vegeta's POV**

I knew Bulma was watching me as our children chased me around the room, but that didn't matter much. Never before had I acted in such a way in front of her or Trunks. I felt a lightness in my soul like what Baba had told me about my death was all true and now I was beginning to realize it. Like I had felt a longing in my soul for Bulma and our children, but only now could see them.

I looked up at her and met her azure gaze evenly. So much had happened to her in my absence…She was not the fiery woman I remember, but a cold shell baring a resemblance to my wife. She turned her eyes away from me and I felt the detachment. As if she was no longer there for me to simply reach out to…As if she and I were no longer connected in mutual love.

**Bulma's POV**

It wasn't until later that night that Vegeta and I had time to talk alone. Goku and his family had come as soon as my mother had been far enough away from me to call Chichi. Piccolo came with Dende. Krillen and 18 were next to arrive with Marin and then came Yamcha. He seemed the least happy to see Vegeta alive and well, but I didn't think anything of it. I had my prince back and I didn't care what anyone else thought.

After we explained everything (subtracting the part about his death one month away), we had dinner with our friends as if none of the past year had ever happened. No one stared at me in concern, or stayed as far away from the topic of Vegeta as possible. Instead everyone laughed and joked and filled Vegeta in of the goings on of his absence. Only Vegeta didn't seem terribly interested about what was being said. He nodded politely and added in comments of his own, but all the while, he simply stared in my direction. I knew that he was concerned and had good reason to be, since for the first time since his death I questioned my own sanity, but I didn't want him to stare at me the way he was. I only wanted him to be the figment that had haunted my dreams for so long…

"It's so good to hear laughter in this house again." Chichi said smiling at Vegeta, "Maybe now, with you back, I'll finally have my friend back." she paused, "Bulma's been such a wraith with you gone. She's even lost more weight from lack of nutrition."

I knew she was right. I had even stopped looking into the mirror from disgust. My cheeks had grown thin and drawn as if it were leather that was being tightly stretched over a drum. My skin had become ghostly pale and my eyes looked sullen, two hollows in my skull.

Vegeta was looking me over with concern once again evident on his face. That was the bulk of what I had gathered from dinner conversation. I became the ghost that everyone knew me to be…and I didn't care.

"Why have you done this to yourself?" Vegeta finally asked bringing my thoughts back to the present. We were standing on the balcony outside our room. I turned to face him and my heart dropped. He looked so handsome in his spandex shorts with a towel around his shoulders. He had decided to take a shower after dinner to organize his thoughts. I had come onto the balcony to look for peace. I hadn't even heard him come onto the balcony.

"What do you mean?" I asked looking back over the horizon. Unlike the outside balcony, this one was inside the house and overlooked the first floor garden. Scents of lavender and jasmine floated up to greet us from the ground below.

Vegeta grabbed my hands, "These for starters."

"I…I don't remember…" I replied not looking at him. It wasn't entirely true. I knew exactly why I decided to take my own life…for the man who questioned those reasons. For my heart, my Vegeta. Not to be berated about it and certainly not to be rescued by Son Kun…

"Yes, you do." Vegeta insisted. He grabbed my chin and turned my face to his, "Why do you not look at me? Why do you fear me? I want to help you, Bulma. I am here only a short while before…"

"I know…" I pulled my face away from his hand, "I…I just can't, Vegeta…"

"Why not?" he asked stepping closer to me, "What has happened to you over the past year that you cannot even look me in the face? It's me, Bulma. Vegeta. Your husband…"

"Yes…but no. I love you, Vegeta. More than you could possibly know, but I can't do this." Bulma stepped away. Tears ran down her face.

"But am I not what you wished for on that star last night?"

"Yes…" I choked out, "And most definitely no…"

"I don't understand…" Vegeta shook his head, "How am I what you wanted and yet not what you wanted?"

"Because," I sobbed, "for a over a year all I've had of you was a figment in my dreams…But now…now that you're here, standing so close, but so far…you aren't a figment born of a disillusioned mind…you're flesh and blood…"

"What difference should that make?" Vegeta demanded, again taking a step towards me.

I took another step back, "Because I don't…h-have feelings f-for figments…My emotions don't look so foreboding…So threatening to my heart…"

Vegeta's features softened and again I was forced backwards. My back was against the banister leaving me unable to move any farther from him. I looked away from him again as he slowly closed the distance between his body and mine.

**Vegeta's POV**

She turned away again. The soft lamplight, meant only to provide the balcony with a soft glow, illuminated the tear streaks on her cheeks. Reaching up slowly, I brushed the tears off her pale cheek and watched as her eyes closed. She moved her head against my hand savoring the feel of the intimacy of it.

"Vegeta…" she whispered. She shook her head and ducked under my arm. She went into our bedroom and I followed her in, "I can't do this…"

"Why not?" I demanded, "We're married, I only exist because you wished it, and I'm here only a month. What reasons have you against it?"

"Only that you are here a month." she whispered, "And because its only a month, I can't do this."

"I don't understand."

"Vegeta, in a month I'm going to have to watch you die again…If I allow myself to fall again…" she shook her head, "I-We can't…"

I crossed the room in two strides and took her face between my hands. I didn't bother with words. Taking her completely off-guard I kissed her gently.

**Bulma's POV**

The room spun and my knees weakened. A tear slid silently down my cheek and melded with our kiss. My heart shattered and I knew at that moment that if I had any chance of surviving his death this time, I would have to fight myself. I would have to fight Vegeta. I would have to fight my heart. It was my one hope.

I pulled away and my hand unconsciously flew to my tingling lips.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered before turning and running from the room. I ran down the steps and into the garden. A light fog circled my feet as I ran across the indoor meadow and into the guest wing. Finding the first empty room tow floors above the gardens, I went in and laid on the bed sobbing into my pillow. I fell asleep soon after.

**Vegeta's POV**

I watched Bulma run through the first floor garden and into the guest wing. I wanted to chase after her, apologize for whatever I may have done, something I never dreamed I would ever think to do first. The thought was startling. Me, the former prince of the Saiyans, pride of the royal family, a legendary Super-Saiyan, wanted to apologize first.

I shook my head and headed into the bedroom. Laying on the bed I found sleep damn near impossible. Taking this as a sign, I got up and went into the garden. I found a spot near the large pool and sat down. I grabbed a smooth rock from the ground and shifted its weight lightly in my hands.

"Where's Bulma?" a voice asked quietly behind me. I turned and stared at Kakarot. He and his family had decided to stay the night instead of taking the long car ride to the country.

I shrugged. I really did not care to discuss my personal life with this baka. But a thought kept coming into my head that made me hate Bulma for helping me develop a conscious. It kept repeating, 'He did watch over and help Bulma while you were gone.'

"Give her time. She'll come around." Kakarot muttered sitting beside me. He skipped a stone across the water and I did the same to my rock, "Think of it this way, Vegeta. She never expected to see you again until she herself died. So you being here in the flesh and blood is a difficult thing to comprehend."

I nodded. The image of her crying in front of me on the balcony flashed before me, "She's terrified of me."

Kakarot shook his head, "As Chichi explained to me not to long after dinner, its not you she's afraid of. Its herself. She's afraid to allow herself to fall for you again. Last time when you died it damn near killed her…"

Again I nodded. I didn't actually understand any of the emotional mumbo-jumbo coming out of Kakarot's mouth, but I didn't want him to explain it either. I didn't care to understand it. Or so I thought. Apparently my brain didn't agree and began to make sense of what Kakarot had said.

"She's afraid of the damage I could do to her heart when-" I stopped, "if I died again."

"It's okay, Vegeta." Kakarot laughed. His face grew solemn, "I already know…You only have a month…"

"How?"

"I asked King Kai." Kakarot replied, "He told me what Baba had told him."

I must have made a face because he added, "But don't worry, he won't tell King Yemma. We're all worried about Bulma's sanity and you're the only one who can help her now…She's closed everything and everyone else off. Even Trunks and Bra are distant memories and nothing more to her anymore."

That was when he got up. He took one last look at the pond and turned to go, "I don't know how you're gonna do it, but you'd better find someway…If you don't you will never see Bulma again."

"What do you mean?" I demanded, "Is that a threat?"

"No…but it is a warning." Kakarot said stopping. He turned to face me again. His face looked old from worry, "In Other World…suicides don't go to heaven, Vegeta. Remember that, because I may not always be there to help her…" he paused, "And neither will you."

I watched Kakarot leave the gardens and I turned my gaze back to the still water. I sat there the rest of the night. Sat there among the cat tails and the misty fog that swirled through the indoor garden. I sat there among the animals, from the loud frogs to the silent mice, from the circling hawk to the sleeping dinosaurs. I sat there and thought. And finally as the first rays of sunlight appeared in the sky lights overhead I made my way to my room to change, in clothes and spirit.

Finally, after thinking all night, after listening to the peace of the night, I had had an epiphany. No more would I shun my emotions, would I hide behind my pride. Bulma needed my help and by Dende, she was going to have it whether she wanted it or not. I was going to show her how to live her life. I was going to show her that even in Other World, I love her just the same. But above all, I was going to show her that she didn't need to be able to see me, I would be there any way. It was our only hope, hers and mine 

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So? What about it? Good, bad? I need my feedback or I won't write Chapter 3:One Month.


	3. One Month

Note: I realize that the timeline for my story is different. I didn't want poor Bulma to be nearing fifty when Bra was born, so I made them both a little younger. This is an AU people. That stuff happens. Do you really want them to be old? I don't. She'll be old in the last chapter, so don't worry. Fo now, I'm say she was 40 when Bra was born instead of the controversial 46/48. That way she's about 43 now. Good? Good.

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**Chapter Three  
One Month  
By Silent Hanyou**

**Bulma's POV**

It was the sound of unfamiliarity that woke me that morning. Usually all that could be heard throughout the house was a shower kicking on. Mom puttering about in the kitchen. Maybe the kids in the gardens. And in all honesty, to anyone else, there wouldn't seem anything different. But I could feel it. There was a shifting in the atmosphere of the house.

The first thing she realized was that she wasn't in her room. Because Vegeta was there. How strange that she had wanted him there, needed him there for over a year. And she hadn't been able to.

Rising from the bed, Bulma made her way through the house. It was odd for her to be up this early. She hadn't been awake before mid-afternoon in months. It wasn't even nine yet.

"When are we going, dad?" Bulma heard Trunks ask as she reached the kitchen door. He sounded excited about something. She peered around the door frame into the kitchen at them. Vegeta stood with his back to her at the kitchen counter, Trunks next to him and Bra sitting on the counter. Bulma's mother was wrapping something up by the stove. She handed it to her son-in-law and he moved enough for Bulma to see what he was doing: packing a picnic basket.

"We'll leave as soon as your mother is ready to join us." he responded, closing the basket and lifting his daughter from the counter, "We'll spend the day out in the country. Kakarot and Chichi live out there and Goten wants to take you and your sister hiking and fishing for the afternoon with me and your mother."

I leaned back against the wall. What was he doing? Why wasn't he upset or afraid? He would die in a month! And he was going on a picnic day trip?

"Bulma." he whispered in her ear, making her jump. He had one side of his chest leaned forward against the door frame and the rest of his body hanging lazily. He lifted a hand and tugged at my hair lightly, "Are you up for a picnic, woman? Kakarot and his wife have invited us to stay over up there for the night."

I backed up slowly away from him to clear my head. Gad, but he could effect me so. Why was he doing this? I closed my eyes and tried to regain some semblance of order. My mind was working much better now than it ever had while he was gone. I could think again. I didn't feel helpless anymore. And that frightened me all the more.

All my re-found logic said that to go would be unwise. To be near him, to feel and think again, would be unwise. Because she could easily grow used to him, to seeing him and smelling him. Feeling him. And then when he was taken from her again... I would fall right back into that dark abyss of not existing. Of eating, sleeping, and dreaming.

I opened my mouth to say no, but there was something in the look he gave. As though he was afraid I was thinking of leaving him. Of abandoning him. Like he knew that every fiber in my being was trying to block him out. And it hit me. Right where it hurt the most.

"Yes. I can go.." I rasped out hollowly. My body was fighting the cause of all its pain. My mind was screaming for this to stop while it reclaimed sanity. But my heart, even surrounded by the six foot wall of solid numbness that I had built up, was having its say. Funny how after such a long absence, the heart could still be so much stronger.

**Vegeta's POV**

So Chichi was right and wrong. It was now clear to me that she was afraid of these rapid changes in her spirit. But I had also seen the fear she held for me. Directed at me. I couldn't really blame her. Not after everything I'd put her through.

Trunks was also slow in accepting. A wariness was always right there. He was eleven now. Nearly twelve. It was an awkward age for him. And it occurred to me that my new life was confusing to him. As my death would be confusing to him.

I wanted to help them to understand. I needed them to know that without me, the world does move. Life does pass. And I was afraid that, as a human with short years, Bulma was passing too many of hers up. Most humans lived no older than seventy-five. And she had passed the half-way mark a little after Trunks was born. I didn't want her to spend the last thirty two plus years in mourning. If she even lasted that long.

We drove up to the country with Kakarot and Chichi about an hour later. The kids were goofing off in the backseat of the ship. I got the feeling that they had visited Kakarot's home quite often over the passed year when their mother had had her "fits." It was good that Trunks still had that childlike demeanor. He hadn't completely lost his childhood.

Bulma had insisted that she fly the craft, despite protests to the contrary from Kakarot. She had also insisted that Chichi sit beside her. That left the children in the very back, out of their seats now and chasing each other around, and Kakarot beside me.

_Have you any plans specifically on how to reach her?  
_

The question slipped across my mind and held. It was Kakarot. I glanced at him sideways and his eyes full of the question he'd posed. I looked out the window as I answered, _Not just yet. At this point I'm just trying to make her want to be near me._

I could feel his mind working. He wanted to help. That was obvious. He was worried, it poured from his mind into mine. But, like me, he wasn't sure what could be done.

_Bulma will have to either accept this and open up on her own, or there is nothing to be done._

_She trying to protect herself. She thinks that when I die this time, she'll follow suit more completely than she did before._

_So then the question is still, how are you going to reach her? _

_ How the hell can I reach her if she doesn't want to be reached?_

_I'm not sure, Vegeta. But for her sake, I hope that you do. I think that, as you said, your first task is to gain her trust. You can't teach someone when they don't believe in what you are trying to teach. It just won't sink in as well as if they are trying for the same thing._

The kids were more than excited when we arrived. They practically flew out of the ship, did in fact, with little Bra between them, each holding an arm. My daughter giggled and screamed as the boys dropped her, tossed her, caught her, and flew high up. It occurred to me that nobody minded in the least. Bulma would have had a fit had Trunks tried that before I died. But he seemed faster, stronger. Both he and Goten were confident and careful. And the adults ignored them.

We laid out the blanket by the lake. Chichi and Bulma sat on it while Kakarot and I made a small energy sheild in the water that would only allow small fish inside. This was where we could let Bra fish. I glanced back at Bulma and smiled at her. She gave a hesitant return smile. All things considered, I was confident that I could make her see.

**Bulma's POV**

"What's the matter with you?" Chichi demanded beside me.

I snapped my head back to her and smiled weakly, "What do you mean?"

"You know damned well what I mean. Your poor husband finds out that he has been dead with no memory of it, has only this small window of life remaining, and is still trying to live." she replied bluntly, "You, on the other hand, seem to have been more dead to the world in the passed year than he has and still can't grasp happiness for the short amount of time you'll have it."

I glared at her, "You know why Chichi. You said it yourself! He isn't here to stay. I'm not going to have him forever. So why should I grasp anything now when it will all be ripped away from me in less than a month!"

We spoke in hushed tones. We had to. Our husband's were close enough for a Saiyan to here if we spoke to loudly. Were they humans, that wouldn't be the case. It was sad to think that Vegeta should be 46 this year.. I was only 43. We were young! So young still, yet.. He had died at 44 and then come back to die once more. Would I die at 44 as well? Was this my last year on Earth?

"But he's here now, B-chan." she told me gently, "And I hope that you realize that sooner rather than later. We've both dealt with losing them before. It's the choice we make when we marry a saiyan. They are fighters. They count on our strength when they are gone."

"It's different and you know it, Chichi." I whispered, "A death in battle is restorable through the Dragon balls. But he died of an aneurism. Natural causes. I think that the battles were easier to deal with because in our hearts we knew that they could and would come back to us. It was a comfort. I just don't want that to happen to me twice, Chi."

Chichi wrapped her arms around Bulma. She knew that Bulma was fighting this. Would fight it with all that was left of her. But she also knew that without that flame in her soul, the one that had been locked away with Vegeta's death, Bulma wouldn't survive much longer.

I just didn't know it yet.

"Come on. Let's go help the boys. Bra's never fished before."

**Vegeta's POV**

I tried everything for the next two weeks. Hiking, camping, fishing, swimming. We took an extended vacation at Kakarot's. And everytime I got close to her, she threw up those damnable walls of hers. Half my time was up here and the minimal amount of progress that I had made was frustrating, but it was there. I saw it in the way she watched me when I wasn't supposed to notice. I saw it in the way that she laughed and joked with Trunks. The way she played with Bra again. But to me, it wasn't enough.

I needed to know that when I left, she would be able to live on. To be alone, yet know that she had a family and friends who loved her and cared about her. Who needed her.

That first day in the country, we'd fished out dinner. Chichi cooked it with a little of Bulma's help over a fire and we slept outside. I had tried to sleep beside her, but she hadn't let me. There was so much to do.. and no time to do it. That was how it felt and seemed in my eyes.

Now we were back at Capsule Corp. Trunks stayed behind with Bra for an extra week to give Bulma and I some time with only each other, but they'd be home day after tomorrow. Her parents were still there, naturally. But they generally left us alone. I sat on the balcony outside our room. Bulma was in the gardens below. She was just walking, as apparently she often did. One thing that was different about her routine in particular, was that she never visited my grave. It was her way of denying that I would leave her again, I knew.

I leaned against the railing with my head in my hands for a long moment. I needed something.. anything to reach her. Backing off to let her adjust wasn't helping. Forcing my attentions hadn't either. Giving her a day alone with Trunks hadn't worked. It seemed nothing would.

I watched her weave through the gardens, making her way to every plant and every path, save for one. Beyond the small lake, there was a section of the garden that she went no where near. But it seemed to me that it wasn't from conscious thought. As though it was a habit to avoid their place. Inside was a wide path with water on either side and at the end was a pavillion. One that Dr. Briefs had built just for them. It was where they'd gotten married.

The gardens in this place were still well kept. The path and the pavillion in perfect condition. Both facts, I suspected, were do to some demand that Bulma had made after my death. I had the feeling that that was the one place the children and the animals were forbidden from entering. That tiny island where our lives began together.

I stood slowly as a thought occurred, my mouth curving into a grin. That was it. The way to reach her. To make her understand that even in death, I would always be right where I belonged. Turning from the rail, I hurried from our bedroom and from Capsule Corp. There was a lot to arrange and I had only two days to see that it was done. I would give Bulma the most that I could. And I would make sure that she never forgot!

It was my last shot at reaching her.. Our one last chance.

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Sorry for the short chapter, everyone. I just decided that instead of putting Vegeta's last chance in this one, I'd give you guys a little cliff to dangle from hopelessly. Maybe I'll end it right here so you guys never find out what happens. Yes. I think that sounds good. You don't mind, do you?

Just joking, naturally. Come back for Chapter 4: One Last Chance.


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